Things We Said Today

…that annoy me lately

Automatic toilets: Have we really devolved so much that flushing a toilet handle is beyond us? I mean seriously. Are people not home trained anymore to such an extent that the auto flush is now standard issue in public restrooms? It’s a lever. You push it down. Easy-peasy! But no. Thanks to the laziness or ignorance or just plain nastiness of our neighbors we are all forced to endure the auto-flush in public places, which is at best, completely random and at worst, a touch sadistic–you know that toilet is calculating the exact WORST moment to flush. The doors to public restrooms should all be changed to read, “Complimentary Douche with Purchase.”

And since I’m on the subject of public toilets, let’s chat about paper seat covers. Chances are, if you’re using a paper seat cover you’re doing so in conjunction with an auto-flush toilet. Therefore, all you really have to do is turn your ass around and make sure the toilet flushed it FOR you. Few things are more disturbing than someone else’s crumpled butt paper ringing a toilet seat. We’ve taken something designed for personal hygiene and turned it into one of the most unsanitary elements in the bathroom. Flush your fucking paper ladies. You’re nasty.

Large crowds of people who need to shower: Been to Walmart on a weekend lately? I don’t recommend it. In fact, I never recommend it, for any reason. EVER. But Sunday I had to go there. Which brings me to another thing that annoys me lately…

My cats: I love them all individually, I really do. But collectively they are a giganormous pain in my ass. This week particularly. They cost money, they’re messy, we are forever feeding and cleaning up after them (thus, the Walmart experience). At least we’ll never have to put them through college or buy them designer clothes.

…i have to do this week

Today I’m getting a cavity filled. Tomorrow is finally a haircut (good grief) and Friday is a graveside interment service for Grandpa Mo. Additionally I’d like to wrap up the essay portion of the MBA application and get the gmat scheduled.

Other things

I had a really productive weekend and got a lot done on both the home and the professional front, and still managed to enjoy a martini or two at MoJoe.

And even though the subject of this weekend’s trip is continued sadness about Grandpa, I’m always glad for the chance to spend time with my extended family. This trip is taking us to Belpre, Ohio, which is historically a hub for my Dad’s side of the family, and a place I haven’t visited since I was a kid. It should be really interesting.

Yesterday my buddy Jason and I got to talking about blogging and touchy subjects. Anybody who writes about their life online has had periods where public sharing is either inappropriate or risky or uncomfortable. When this happens to me my reaction is almost always a complete inability to write about ANYTHING. And so this blog turns into “Things I’m NOT Going to Say Today.”

We joked about the idea of being able to write about bad stuff in story form. Some kind of veiled make believe tale with hidden meaning. And I laughed and said something along the lines of, “Once upon a time, there was a little bunny!”

And so I bring you:

The Parable of the Little Bunny
Once upon a time, there was a bunny. One day the bunny was out hopping around the fields with her bunny girlfriend who had managed to get her little bunny foot stuck in a bear trap. When the bunny came from the bunny doctor’s office she found out, to her horror, that farmer Dana’s dog Economy had gotten into the bunny warren and absconded with some of the other bunnies. Those missing bunnies were friends and everyone was sad.

Some of the bunny leaders beat their bunny chests and got defensive and exclaimed that it wasn’t their fault! They can’t keep their eye on every single dog in the neighborhood! Others cried and tore out their fur, blaming themselves for not guarding the warren entrance better.

Bunny hopped around her shell-shocked friends, sniffing out the really frightened and trying to make them laugh. She had bunny beers with the angry bunnies and talked candidly about hoarding carrots for the winter and ways to build a better warren.

Eventually all the bunnies settled back into routines but they mostly felt disheartened and anxious, always looking over their shoulders for Economy, the neighbor’s dog, to return. New faces began to appear in the empty bunny holes, the weather got warm and new carrots starting coming up in the neighbor’s field and the bunnies were eager to harvest them well.

But every bunny knows that the dog is always there, hanging around the warren, waiting for a chance to jump in and snatch some of them. That is, after all, exactly what a dog does–protects the neighbor’s carrot fields from over harvesting. Bunnies and Dogs are part of the great balance of things.

The end.

_____________________________________________________

Ellen’s foot is getting better. The purple bruises are still ugly but the swelling has gone down some. Karin posted pictures if anyone’s curious enough to want to see.

The news about our “right sizing” appeared this morning in Columbus’s Business First magazine. I’m not going to say anything about that on a professional level. On a personal one it was obviously really really hard on everyone. Mostly because we love this place and each other.

I think my biggest realization last week is that I’m probably way too emotionally invested.

But what are you gonna do?

In other, more pedestrian news…

Will assembled my elliptical machine for me last Saturday and I went crazy making fruity martini recipes during a cookout at our place to celebrate Julie’s visit to the states. It was a much needed reprieve from a pretty emotional week and we had a terrific time.

I just got an invitation to my nephew’s 2nd birthday party!! Now. That’s not until July. In case you needed a reminder that parents are crazy.

I went to the dentist this morning. Wheee! And I have a cavity. Boo.

And that’s it. The parable of the bunny and a mini life update. Cheers!

I’m never going to finish writing up the San Francisco trip. As usually, I started off all gang busters and then fell off the radar.

Suffice to say that the rest of the trip was as fun and packed as the first two days. On Elizabeth’s suggestion I did spend my morning coffee time at Grace Cathedral on Wednesday and that was a fabulous idea. The rest of that day involved touring the old Mission Delores, the Castro and Crissy Field and culminated in the best dinner of the week at Presidio Social Club.

Thursday morning I used my time to scramble around and book us a half-day tour of Muir Woods and the Giant Redwoods. HOLY COW! That was easily the highlight of the trip for me and resulted in some great images, both mental and photographic.

And now we’ve been back home for a while. Ellen is settling in to her busiest quarter of school to date and I’m busting out a new site redesign. One of last year’s projects has been nominated for a Webby Award, so I’m super pleased about that.

On the radar:

Open House for the Capital MBA program on Wednesday.
Client related travel to north Georgia–I’ve been told that if we end up flying into Atlanta, I’ll have to drive the rental car. Oye. I’ve managed to avoid that job for nearly three years.
The Dentist–WEEE!

Reading:
Freakonomics: Steven Levitt and Stephen Dubner

Watching:
Top Chef, Hells Kitchen, American Idol, House Hunters, Survivor: Fans vs. Favorites, Alias (Netflix), CSI (Finally back!)

Listening:
I just made my first iMix!

We’re dog sitting for Cain this week so he will most likely make his debut at my office tomorrow morning. Our pet policy is super fun and I’ve never been able to participate. Cats aren’t big on that sort of thing.

And that’s what’s going on for now.

This morning dawned early for me, what with the time change and the early bedtime yesterday. I woke up initially at 5:30 and by 7 I gave up and headed outside to find some coffee and a place to people watch.

Remembering something I’d read in a guide book I headed up to North Beach and spent the morning in Washington Square. The exercise routines and martial arts going on were highly entertaining and between that, the coffee and all the dogs running around, it was an ideal way to start the day.

Once Ellen was up and ready we hopped on the bus to Fisherman’s Wharf and Pier 36 to see Seals! Alcatraz tours were sold out or unavailable until the weekend so we opted to get as close as we could by taking a cheesy Bay Tour Ferry with one of the most ridiculous narrations (by ‘Captain Nemo’) that I’ve heard since the days of Orlando. Nevertheless, that ride yielded some fabulous photos and the “killer birds” episode.

After the cruise we wandered around the Wharf and I had some crab while Ellen made faces of disgust and fascination. We did a quick dive into Ghirardelli for a sample before heading over to the Number 1 Cost Plus/World Market store so Ellen could criticize their up-stock and be jealous over how much space they have to work with. It’s hard to leave work at work.

After that was a hike up to Lombard to see the Crookedest Street and begin the haul up to Coit Tower. And that–was just about all we could handle on foot for the day.

After a quick breather back at the hotel we checked out the wine bar next door before cabbing it to Delancey Street for dinner. Delancey was a recommendation from co-worker Jessica, and the interesting thing about this restaurant is that it is part of a Foundation that works to create new beginnings for homeless and drug-addicted folks, many of whom are ex-convicts. The atmosphere was lovely, the service was great, but the food was unremarkable. But we’re both really glad we went and the prices were really reasonable.

And now? We’re watching television in our pajamas and I’m trying to figure out where tomorrow morning’s coffee should be, since I’m sure I’ll be up early again.

More pictures up on Flickr.

By the numbers:

Hours of sleep on Friday night: 0
Arrived at CMH: 4
Departed: 6
Arrived at hotel: 10:30
Cost of room service lunch of desperation: $68
Hours of nap: 4
Monks/Friars seen: 1
Semi-Touristy things Accomplished: 3
Maps in my pocket: 3
Chinese Restaurant Flyers in my pocket: 3

We just really couldn’t sleep Friday night. Mostly it was excitement and anxiety about early departure but it was also practical because I feel worse than bad if I only get 4 hours. So we pretty much just skipped it.

Jump ahead to arriving in San Francisco and we’re both just draggin’ ass all the way from BART to the hotel–really not seeing much of anything on our way there. So much for my wide-eyed fantasy arrival from the underground.

The Hotel has been fabulous and they even had our room ready for us to check-in early, which probably saved our day because we were nowhere near ready to deal with maps and walking at that point. After a brief discussion, which pretty much consisted of Ellen saying, “I’m not leaving this room,” and me saying, “yeah, it’s nice here,” we ordered room service from Cafe de la Presse.

Then we passed out.

Zoom ahead to 4:30 and I’m waking up and yelling, “I HAVE To go out into the sun!”

We had a great afternoon of leisurely strolling the immediate area and getting our bearings, as well as gathering up maps and ideas–your basic recognizance mission. Our walk took us down to the Ferry Building, which was really fun but we were late enough that many things were closing up for the day. We’ll definitely go back earlier tomorrow or Wednesday.

We walked up the Embarcadero and cut over to China Town from above our hotel. That walk up took us through what we’ve christened, “the Dirty District,” which was appropriately full of strip clubs and things called Pleasure Paradise.

At around 7 we realized two things: We want to have dinner but we feel funky and too tired to bother with changing clothes. Our lovely hotel dude listened to me say, “I need someplace tasty, low key, and not much more than a 10 minute walk.” His suggestion was Puccini and Pinetti, off of Union Square. Not only was the food good and the atmosphere well suited for a couple of exhausted East Coast tourists, but the walk there and back took us through all the uppity shops and bars, which was a direction we hadn’t yet walked.

All in all, it was a good first day considering our energy levels (about a notch above dead).

Tomorrow is much more ambitious and will hopefully include the Alcatraz tour.