Secrets

I’ve got some and they’re driving me nuts. Too many things that I’ve been sworn to secrecy about and I’m bursting to talk about at least two of them. Therefore, I’m going to share a third, which I believe I can safely do without naming any names and few people will know of whom I speak.

A friend of a friend of mine…see, see how sneaky that was…recently signed up to participate in a “market research” study. I put those little quotes around it for a reason. You’ll see why in a minute.

The “study” was about porn. As in PORN! (My hits should be hysterical now). In the study, she was supposed to watch a bunch of PORN! The catch being, that in order to monitor her “response” to said PORN! she had to insert a probe into her gagina (as a certain 4-year old I know would say). The probe supposedly informed the study about the physiological effects of said PORN! For which, my friend of a friend was paid a mere $125. That’s right, $125.

Now, I’ve had some experience in the market research industry by way of Tanya’s former employment and our friend Jeanette, and there is no part of me that believes in the legitimacy of this study. I would be willing to take bets on how long it will be before the video of this event ends up on the Internet, if it’s not already circulating. Crack. Head.