Top 7 Things Salvation Army Volunteers Should Not Do!

• Sing
• Touch me
• Chase me into the store asking inane questions like “What did you eat for Thanksgiving dinner? Are you full? Will you bring me leftovers?”
• Walk towards me aggressively as I approach the store.
• Walk towards me aggressively EVER!
• Smoke
• Comment out loud on the amount of money (or lack thereof) that I put into their can.

In fact, as far as I’m concerned, beyond “Thank you” and “Merry Christmas!” Salvation Army volunteers should pretty much keep their mouths shut. I’m sure they’re bored, but I have to tell you that I have never been so irritated by charity workers as I’ve been this season and they’re all Salvation Army guys who are pissing me off.

Did the Army announce new, more aggressive tactics for 2002? Did they decide that annoying people would promote the ever popular, “I’m giving you money to make you fuck off” charitable contribution? I feel Grinchy just writing this entry but I had to get this off of my chest. I feel much better now.