Hi! Wanna Buy a Shirt, Asshole?

I have two interviews in the morning. Both are for positions in retail hell at a snooty mall. One of these interviews involves a “floor test” in which I must “interact with customers” while being observed by the hiring manager. Assuming all goes well I may actually get to pick between two jobs I don’t want. Always nice to have options. Send perky sales girl vibes my way in the morning. I think I’m mature enough not to punch anybody during the proceedings but I worry that I’ll tell someone their butt looks too big in those jeans.