Vegas Part I

I took the following notes on my Palm Pilot during the flight from Columbus to Las Vegas. We took off at 8 a.m.

10:00 a.m. Flight out. April and I sat with Eric, the university hockey player with a bum ankle on his way to rehab.

In front are Keith, Burton, Kirk and Dan, a pack of queens on their way to scatter Kirk’s parent’s ashes on a hotel construction site.

Keith flirts relentlessly with Travis, the flight attendant, who is so skinny, “you could split him in two,” and, according to Keith, he’s, “seen dildos bigger than him.”

Keith is from Chicago originally.

Funniest line so far:

Mandy: “Hey, at least it wasn’t a quarter!” Imitating her potential comments for the evening news after she threatens to throw a penny into the grand canyon from the plane…possibly causing an avalanche (Hush, Christina, we know it’s not possible, but it was really funny at the time).

Strange snack food event: Heather’s cornflake Christmas wreaths.

First cocktail: 10:30 a.m. Screwdrivers.

Second cocktails: 11:09 a.m. More screwdrivers.

Keith continues to work the mojo on the hapless Travis. Kirk wants to cut my hair. Burton is a licensed practicing counselor and Dan has an IT opening. They are fixtures with Stomp, a Columbus country dancing club that meets on Thursdays at WallStreet. They all have fancy cowboy hats in lovely hat boxes. In fact, there was quite a big deal made of the fact that Kirk checked his parents ashes but carried-on his hat box.

Flight attendant Frank ate one of Heather’s Christmas wreaths and proved it by sticking out his very green tongue.

We exchange digits with the boys as we prepare to disembark in Las Vegas. It is 9:30 a.m. Nevada time. We were apparently all staying at the same hotel but as fate would have it, we never saw them again.

More to come…