Vicar In a Tutu
–a dedication, with a few entendres

“I was minding my business
I was lifting some lead off
the roof of the holy name church.
It was worthwhile living a laughable life,
to set my eyes on the blistering sight
of a vicar in a tutu
He’s not strange,
he just wants to live his life this way.

A scanty bit of a thing,
with a decorative ring
that wouldn’t cover the head of a goose.
As rose collects the money in the cannister,
who comes sliding down the bannister?
The vicar in a tutu.
He’s not strange.
He just wants to live his life this way.

Oh, the monkish monsignor
with a head full of plaster
said: ‘My man, get your vile soul dry-cleaned.’
As Rose collects the money from the cannister,
as natural as rain he dances again
My God!

The vicar in a tutu
Oh yeah
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

The next day in the pulpit,
with freedom and ease
combatting ignorance, dust, and disease.
As Rose counts the money in the cannister
As natural as rain
He dances again and again and again
in the fabric of a tutu,
any man could get used to,
and I am the living sign–
I’m a living sign,
I am a living sign
I’m a living sign
I am a living sign”

–The Smiths