Chop-Chop

I got a food processor for Christmas. I’ve never owned or used such a tool but with the increase in my culinary exploits of the last year or so, it seemed a logical addition to a relatively basic kitchen setup. Not only does it increase the number of appliances I own to a whopping, three, but sitting there on my counter it actually gives the appearance that maybe I know what I’m doing.

That would be false. I’m coming to understand that food processing is as much of an art as cooking itself. Getting the proper shape and size from the “chopping” blade is a challenge I’ll be struggling with for some time. Last night I completely pulped an entire onion. Fine if I were making hashbrowns perhaps, but not so great for salad or grilling.

And we won’t even discuss what happened to the lovely portobello mushroom caps. I suppose I’m a fool for putting them in there to begin with–especially in light of what happened to the onion. Suffice to say, I have my work “cut” out for me.

Generosity born of impatience bites back

Yesterday, JMo and I did our grocery shopping together at Meijer. Like WalMart, Meijer attracts a fairly varied assortment of shoppers and though the prices are good, the lines and the crowds can be crazy-making.

In the checkout line I ended up behind a small child of about 7. She was there with her older sister (I’m guessing) to buy three Meijer-brand sodas. Older sister handed 7-year old some money and then promptly went over to a bench and sat down. We’d all been in line for some time at this point and she was, understandably, sick of it. That’s what little sisters are for, I guess.

At any rate, the soda cost more than little-sis had so big sis comes over to see what the hold-up is. Turns out that’s all their money. So after looking at the cashier wistfully for a few seconds, (in one of those, ‘can’t you help me out here’ kind of ways), she says, “well then, just take one of them off.”

Two things went through my head:

A) Some poor kid isn’t going to get his soda, and
B) taking said soda off of the tab is going to keep me waiting here even longer.

So I said, “Oh, hey, don’t worry about it, I’ve got a dollar.” Everyone seemed relieved and big sis smiled politely and said, thank you.

What happened next slayed me. The cashier took my dollar, combined it with whatever amount she had given him, completed the sale and…handed her the change. To make it all the more bizarre, she stuck it right in her pocket, smiled at me again, scooped up little sis and headed for the door.

I could not stop laughing and shaking my head over that for the rest of the afternoon.

What you need to know

Coming on the heels of those two, mildly amusing anecdotes, here is the short-list of what you need to know about my life as it stands today.

First, the elephant in the living room that has hampered my ability to blog for the last several months.

I broke up with Tanya.

I’ve been trying to figure out how to address that in this space and have been coming up short. The fact is, I don’t want to discuss it here at all. It’s not a blog topic. For those to whom this is news, feel free to call or e-mail me. But I won’t address the subject here or in the comments anytime soon, if ever.

Nevertheless, I needed to say it here because obviously it impacts every other aspect of my life right now and blogging without sharing that was tricky and ultimately, dishonest.

And the lesser items of interest:

I am working like a crazy woman and hope to be hired full-time in late April, early May. In the meantime, I’m very focused and am learning a ton of new stuff.

I’m going to buy a pickup truck from Shannon and Laura. They are fabulous for extending that offer and I’d be about five kinds of crazy to turn it down in favor of fixing my 1992 Saturn. Much as I’ve loved that car.