All Babies, All the Time
By AmyMo on Mar 1, 2006 in Aunthood, Family, Life
2006 is shaping up to be the year of the baby.
Who will be next??! Because we know it ain’t going to be me.
As someone recently pointed out to me, a Morrison trifecta of babies would just be too much for the world to take. I will continue to take precautions.
Due dates seem to be lined up as follows:
Jennifer: July
Christina: September
Emily: October
Clearly these children all understand that August is MY month.
I keep referring to my nephew as the Nugget. Which is getting on Jennifer’s nerves but I can’t help it. I have also been getting Chicken Nuggets at McDonalds a lot as a result. Twisted, huh?
Emily seems hell bent on calling hers (gender as yet undetermined) a twinkle. I can’t get into that. I’m not that cute. But I haven’t come up with a good alternative. Spawn of an arbitrary fireman doesn’t quite have the proper amount of warmth.
And I think I’ll officially dub Chris and Christina’s child Baby Kaiju for now. Godzuki just seems too cruel.
I suppose I might as well go ahead and invest in Baby Gap stock. Because in case you haven’t noticed, baby clothes are CUTE!
So, congratulations to all the soon-to-be new parents. Aunt AmyMo can’t wait to amp your kids up on candy, expose them to whatever is opposite of their parent’s tastes, and send them home with noisy toys and new swear words.
And someday, one of them had better slap their forehead and exclaim, “Oh my sainted aunt!” (A comment not all of you will get, but it’s my blog and I can make obscure movie jokes if I want to.)
“expose them to whatever is opposite of their parent’s tastes”
So, it’ll be all Barbies and Barney, huh? Good to know.
And for the record, we are referring to it currently as “the (or our) predicament.” Baby Kaiju’s not bad, though.
“Because in case you haven’t noticed, baby clothes are CUTE!”
… and EXPENSIVE. So knock yourself out.
Christina | Mar 1, 2006 | Reply
Christina, I will do my best to outfit your child. Just as soon as I figure out what the hell all these codes mean in the real world: 3t and 2t, 0 to 3 mos, newborns and toddlers, crawlers and walkers, etc.
Also, everyone is getting Butt Paste! Butt Paste for all!
AmyMo | Mar 1, 2006 | Reply
You could call the baby brickette, as in charcoal brickette.
Jodi | Mar 1, 2006 | Reply
There is the whole fire thing. Woot! Baby Brickette!
AmyMo | Mar 1, 2006 | Reply
“Just as soon as I figure out what the hell all these codes mean in the real world”
Yeah. When you do, clue me in, okay? But then, I still don’t understand sizes for adult women’s clothes, so I think it’s hopeless.
Christina | Mar 1, 2006 | Reply
kaiju means what exactly?????I ‘m getting used to twinkle, kinda like it. Once you’ve figured out what the codes in the sizes mean it will not apply to the child you are trying to clothe-for example your 18 month old will likely wear a 2T, so why bother……just buy em cause there cute!
Mom | Mar 1, 2006 | Reply
Kaiju is the word for any Asian giant monster: Godzilla, Gamera, Mothra, etc., are all kaiju, King Kong is not (because, while giant, he is not Asian).
Christina | Mar 1, 2006 | Reply
thank you !
Mom | Mar 1, 2006 | Reply
“King Kong is not (because, while giant, he is not Asian).”
I just laughed like a maniac at work reading that.
AmyMo | Mar 1, 2006 | Reply
You should check out the “geek” section of Cafepress while you’re at it. Someone I know is getting an “I’m still in Beta” baby bib (among other things).
Elizabeth F. | Mar 1, 2006 | Reply
Good idea! I wonder if ThinkGeek has a baby selection as well.
AmyMo | Mar 1, 2006 | Reply
If so will you get Tyler a bib that says “Got Choch?”
Jennifer | Mar 1, 2006 | Reply
Funny!!!!
Mom | Mar 1, 2006 | Reply
You should also check out mypunkbaby.com. Kaiju’s totally getting either “My Mama drinks because I cry” or “Come closer … (tiny print) So I can spit up on you.”
Christina | Mar 1, 2006 | Reply
My Mama drinks because I cry! Ha!
I’m getting Tyler a pocket protector and making him listen to They Might Be Giants.
I’m only buying Emily’s child Oxford shirts and preppy shoes and am going to teach her all about the joys of capitalism while we eat processed snack food and litter.
Kaiju? I think Kaiju and I will join the Christian Coalition.
AmyMo | Mar 2, 2006 | Reply
I did see a funny onesie that said “All daddy wanted was a blowjob” Maybe a little inappropriate but still funny.
J-Mo | Mar 2, 2006 | Reply
Bahahaha!
AmyMo | Mar 2, 2006 | Reply
“I’m only buying Emily’s child Oxford shirts and preppy shoes and am going to teach her all about the joys of capitalism while we eat processed snack food and litter”.
OK, that made me laugh to tears. Thanks Amy, I’m so glad i can count on someone to counter all the hard work i’ll try to do. One major perk of aunthood is eat lots of candy and send it home hyper with loud new toys, so you’ve got that part down already.
I love the cafepress baby selection, especially now that it comes in black. I’m pretty impressed, I’d like to get one with a testtube that says “I love my daddy”, but that may also be inappropriate.
Congrats to Christina and Kaiju, that is so cool!
Twinkle is no longer twinkle in my eye, but twinkle in my belly, so it works for me.
towanda | Mar 2, 2006 | Reply
There is a section at thinkgeek:
http://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts/kids/
Nothing too wonderful, but stuff like “input” and “output” with appropriate arrows, and “v2.0″; that sort of thing.
Christina | Mar 2, 2006 | Reply
Great. Now everybody’s going to want babies.
Joe | Mar 2, 2006 | Reply
You want them already and you know it.
AmyMo | Mar 2, 2006 | Reply