Dating is occasionally fun, frequently frustrating, and always a tad nerve-wracking for me.

Considering that dating someone actually means talking to them and probably being nice to them, you can understand my abject terror, right?

Figuring out how to graciously detach if I’m disinterested, graciously detach if THEY’RE disinterested, or god forbid, move forward if we’re both INterested is like playing chess against the computer. And people, the computer almost always wins.

And I’m not complaining. Really. I’m just mildly lamenting the mine fields.

Bacon Julie and I have spent hours pouring over personals and profiles this weekend and between the two of us, are convinced there’s not a soul on the planet worth e-mailing, much less asking out. But then, we’re probably both just cranky. That being said, who posts a picture of themselves with their pet monkey on a dating site? Even if that didn’t send a message I couldn’t quite process, I can’t compete with a monkey.

So I thought it might be amusing and probably wonderfully distracting to let you folks write a personal ad or dating profile for me. You can write it however you want. It can be about me or about what I should be looking for. It can be a satire or it can be sincere. It can be mean if you want, but I do reserve the right to respond in kind. Those of you with photos of me in your arsenal, feel free to attach one you think I should use (or not!).

E-mail them to me at aemorrison2001 (at) yahoo (dot) com. I’ll reply to all and post highlights here if they aren’t too er, I don’t know–too whatever.

I should probably mention that I will award prizes for this in the following categories:

Most Amusing
Most Sincerely Flattering
Most BS Free
Most Creative overall

This actually requires that people take this on as a project. If I only get one or two I may need to rethink the categories.