A few weeks ago I went to the doctor for my annual. Which actually turned out to be nearly a tri-annual because apparently my last one was in early 2005.

It was 2 p.m. and I had a cold and because work was insane I hadn’t managed to eat all day, which was okay I thought since that way they could go ahead and do a fasting blood sugar test on me while I was at it. Just get that diabetes, cholesterol check out of the way

So they stuck me and I promptly passed out. No blood drawn.

This morning I went back at 8:15 and successfully provided the necessary sample and while I was at it she stuck me in both arms for good measure. I got a flu shot and a tetanus shot that also contained a Whooping Cough vaccination.

Whooping cough?

I thought that had been eradicated but apparently we have an outbreak here and I guess maybe there are outbreaks in other places too, I’m not clear on how widespread this is.

I said, “How do you know if you have the whoop?” And she said, “Well, basically you just have a really nasty barking cough that won’t go away.”

In my family if you say whooping cough someone is likely to launch into the story of my great-aunt who once, many years ago, discovered a whooping crane in her front yard in the middle of the night. When she tried to tell everyone they just figured she was drunk and crazy because she kept saying, “There’s a whoop-whoop-whooping! Crane in the yard!!”

As it turns out, she was drunk but not actually crazy. For some reason there really were whooping cranes on the loose in the neighborhood that night. I forget where they came from but it was all over the news the next day.

Anyway, I am now vaccinated against rusty nails, whoops and chicken eggs.

Can a day that starts with three needles ever be a good day? We shall see.